My living room is a childs playroom. Not fun .
But he still needs more it seems, like more development training toys.
Ugh, the bills never ever stop do they
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Sunday, 8 April 2012
lonley
It doesn't matter how many people are in a room. Or if i am talking to family or friends.
I'm still lonley
I'm still lonley
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
School was on Monday.
YAY, It was a great feeling. Still is.
Graduating a year later but you know what ... at least im caught up and am on track.
James is still changing over night, hes 24lbs and is furniture crawling and sitting himself up.. crazy ? I know right. Hes only 6.5 months , hes a fast learner.
Me and Billy are still hanging in there. Well my pain in the butt is up , so i should pay him some attention before he destroys the place ;)
chow for now.
Graduating a year later but you know what ... at least im caught up and am on track.
James is still changing over night, hes 24lbs and is furniture crawling and sitting himself up.. crazy ? I know right. Hes only 6.5 months , hes a fast learner.
Me and Billy are still hanging in there. Well my pain in the butt is up , so i should pay him some attention before he destroys the place ;)
chow for now.
Thursday, 22 March 2012
No sympathy .
I have no sympathy for those people who just settle. Who allow themselves to give up, Who are not happy but instead of doing something about it, they rather just complain.
I know another teen mom, Her name is Marley. She has got to be the most lazy being on this planet.
Its disgusting. They go to concerts, don't go to school nether of them work, and of course they still party. Relying on our government and high taxes to pay for this life they have created, they live at home with his parents and get everything handed to them.
Does anyone else see something wrong with this or am i just bitching for nothing ?
Why do teens PLAN to get pregnant if they cant even accept this responability.
I know another teen mom, Her name is Marley. She has got to be the most lazy being on this planet.
Its disgusting. They go to concerts, don't go to school nether of them work, and of course they still party. Relying on our government and high taxes to pay for this life they have created, they live at home with his parents and get everything handed to them.
Does anyone else see something wrong with this or am i just bitching for nothing ?
Why do teens PLAN to get pregnant if they cant even accept this responability.
Staying positive
School is just a handful days away, I'm so excited. I need out of this house. Meet new people and get my self confidence back. Feel like i'm doing something with my life.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Crawling and tossing a turning.
James is now on his knees fully crawling everywhere. Trying to climb on things and going on his own adventures.
Hes getting so big, everyday we over come a new change, a new challenge.Boyfriend is back sleeping on the couch, Way to make someone feel lonely without being alone. At least i get to cuddle with James all night, even if he does take up the entire bed. I'm a proud co sleeper.
School needs to come faster.. i need to get out of this house and make some friends since all my " best friends " are MIA.
Hes getting so big, everyday we over come a new change, a new challenge.Boyfriend is back sleeping on the couch, Way to make someone feel lonely without being alone. At least i get to cuddle with James all night, even if he does take up the entire bed. I'm a proud co sleeper.
School needs to come faster.. i need to get out of this house and make some friends since all my " best friends " are MIA.
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Goals.
I have lots of goals and ambitions. I've never been the patient type in my eyes life is just to short and bills add up pretty fast.. I wish to become a RN, then after a couple years i would LOVE to specialize in becoming a anesthesiologist.
I no what i have to do.
I no what i have to do.
Friday, 9 March 2012
6 month shots.
Today was no better, James had his shots. I LOOOVE our family doctor. He was the one who helpped me threw my pregnancy and gave me my iud and so on and so forth.
He calls to check up on us to see how we are doing and asks if i had any questions and never rushes me , It's great. James is on the heavier side he says, but his height weighs it out so he is not concered and gave me the go ahead to start him on meats and peanut butter. Pooor litttle guy did not like his shots today.. but he didnt cry to much , he just was complaining .
Still feeling like a bird locked in a cage
He calls to check up on us to see how we are doing and asks if i had any questions and never rushes me , It's great. James is on the heavier side he says, but his height weighs it out so he is not concered and gave me the go ahead to start him on meats and peanut butter. Pooor litttle guy did not like his shots today.. but he didnt cry to much , he just was complaining .
Still feeling like a bird locked in a cage
Thursday, 8 March 2012
I'd like to think that one day i will be a something.
Being a mom has to be the most draining job around, but also the most rewarding. Lately me and my " lover " have just been at war, and it breaks my heart but it's like trying to fit a circle into a smaller square. It just wont work. I cleaned the entire house i made dinner with two kids plus i went to school and grocery shopping with no car ! So at the end of the day i really dont wanna hear it, AND of course it's still not good enough to make him happy.
I remember growing up without a dad, and maybe it was better that way, My mom must of been so lonely... But she had friends. I have a boyfriend ( baby daddy ) but no friends..
Even when hes here i still feel lonely.
I just want James to no how to love and treat woman. Verbal, mental , physical abuse has no excuse.
I wish i could treat his father the way i would want James to be loved in a serious relationship but i can't . Whats the point of just being treated like a door mat.
I hope my mom can take Mondays off..
I remember growing up without a dad, and maybe it was better that way, My mom must of been so lonely... But she had friends. I have a boyfriend ( baby daddy ) but no friends..
Even when hes here i still feel lonely.
I just want James to no how to love and treat woman. Verbal, mental , physical abuse has no excuse.
I wish i could treat his father the way i would want James to be loved in a serious relationship but i can't . Whats the point of just being treated like a door mat.
I hope my mom can take Mondays off..
Sunday, 4 March 2012
Out of sight, out of mind.
I don't even no where to start, I wish people realized how much words stick and hurt others.
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Draind.
I don't have it most difficult, but it's not the easiest. Frankly I'd rather it that way. I have these goals. I can't sit and expectt them to happen on there own. I'm enrolled in school i start after spring break, i'm doing the adult dogwood program so i should be graduated in about a year, i dont want to take any breaks, after i graduate im going to enroll into BCIT, and working my ass off to become a RN.
I no what i want, and nothing will get in my way.
I no what i want, and nothing will get in my way.
It's be awhile.
I know.. i know.. it's been awhile and WOAH, its like my entire pregnancy i was climbing this mountain fighting with myself, and now its like i'm just tumbling down, taking a moment just a breather to enjoy the little things in life and prepairing myself for what god is going to throw at me next.
James, is 6 months old and is getting his shots on Wed, AHH ! Last time his father held him and i just sat there crinching my teeth because he wasn't holding him the way he should of been held or not comforting him the way he needs to be, gosh i sound like such a controlling in demand mother. Lets just say.. I'll be holding him this time.
Last night, Was James had his first big boy bath. No infant bath tub in case anyone was wondering.. he loved it. We played in it for a good 45 mins..
James, is 6 months old and is getting his shots on Wed, AHH ! Last time his father held him and i just sat there crinching my teeth because he wasn't holding him the way he should of been held or not comforting him the way he needs to be, gosh i sound like such a controlling in demand mother. Lets just say.. I'll be holding him this time.
Last night, Was James had his first big boy bath. No infant bath tub in case anyone was wondering.. he loved it. We played in it for a good 45 mins..
Monday, 16 January 2012
Today, January 16th. James ate his first big boy meal
I promised myself i wouldnt miss anything, none of the " firsts " for James's first year being in our lives. Today he ate a banana, it was so cute watching him discover something new, I originally wanted to give him a avocado buuuuut..... I didnt want to walk to the store, so thats next weeks food. Ah, so blessed.
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
damn high school.
Damn high school. I never liked it. Back in the day it just seemed alot easier and smarter to just skip that day and go back " tomorrow". Why did it not cross my mind that eventually i'd have to go back and do it all over again with double the stress ? Last week my online school teacher asked me if i would be interested in public speaking and i said i'd have to think about it, Today i told him i had to pass and maybe in my future i will. I'm still in grade 10.. I should be graduating this year.. If i just went to class when i should have, i wouldnt be so far behind.. Its not a kid holding me back, its my stupidity from my earlier teenage years. I have to make things right for not only myself but for James, What kind of a example would i be if i dont finish ? What kind of future would we have ? How would i ever be independent ? I wont be a statistic.
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Too much for too little of info... Teen pregnancy
I have such mixed emotions about teen pregnancys. Since i am only 17 and a mother, but i wouldnt wish this on anyone else UNLESS they were ready. I sure wasn't, but i made myself.. I no at least 6 - 7 teens pregnant right now, and the numbers keep growing .. WHY ? i dont understad how , yes i get it s e x. I got pregnant from antibiotics making my birth control not work, i had no idea that would happen. I have some friends saying how they want children and i cant help but think are you out of your fucking mind ? I love being a mom, dont get me wrong, its the best feeling in the world but i had such big dreams and things i wanted to do before i settled down. I didnt want a serious relationship yet, but i am happy it with my boyfriend. Its almost our 2 years, and still going strong. Hes an amazing father and i look forward to building our future together. Being a mom is not what its like on tv.. The cameras dont show the bills and how they add up, the constant attention the baby needs, how the mom never has time for herself, they make it look so much fun, so easy and if you think it is, your mistaken. If your one of those girls who are scared to lose your boyfriend so you purposely get pregnant ? YOU WILL LOSE HIM, and lose yourself.
Mine and Bill's relationship is inside out, its completely different. We use to be just one big party, never faught unless i was doing drugs and he found out.. ( He is the reason why i cleaned myself up )
and now , we fight.. alot because of how stressed we are about everything. We use to live so easy but at the time seemed so hard, but now .. it is a struggle.
and now , we fight.. alot because of how stressed we are about everything. We use to live so easy but at the time seemed so hard, but now .. it is a struggle.
ON THAT NOTE.
Teen pregnancy needs to be talked about more, there needs to be more resources.
Teen pregnancy needs to be talked about more, there needs to be more resources.
I wont be just another statistic.
Sick baby
Ever since my son James was just under a month old, he would sleep threw the night. I got lucky, but now my
" little " booboo is sick, oh yes .. very sick. Coughing, has a mild fever but still feels cold, sneezing, wont eat much and the worse.. he wont sleep for longer then 20 min at a time ! Of course, I am getting sick now from this lack of sleep, but today was the light at the end of the tunnel. Hes sleeping, still coughing but the fever is fading and he is getting better. THANK GOODNESS. I've come to realize that sick babies are not fun babies.
" little " booboo is sick, oh yes .. very sick. Coughing, has a mild fever but still feels cold, sneezing, wont eat much and the worse.. he wont sleep for longer then 20 min at a time ! Of course, I am getting sick now from this lack of sleep, but today was the light at the end of the tunnel. Hes sleeping, still coughing but the fever is fading and he is getting better. THANK GOODNESS. I've come to realize that sick babies are not fun babies.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Family
" You can choose your friends, but not your family "
Last night James and I went to a Christmas dinner on Seans side ( my father, but he really doesn't deserve that title ) ever since i was a child i never felt like belonged there, or that i was a burden but last night proved to me that i was, i always have been. How dare anyone say what i do with my son is wrong and that i am a bad mother and should not aim my goals too high and be unrealistic. I no its going to be hard and what is success without struggle. On that note James is getting huge he's almost 20lbs and is in 12 month clothing, hes only 4 months and a couple weeks... Whenever i see newborns it makes me want another one just so i can have a NEWBORN not a INFANT, haha justkiddddding give or take a bunch of years.
Last night James and I went to a Christmas dinner on Seans side ( my father, but he really doesn't deserve that title ) ever since i was a child i never felt like belonged there, or that i was a burden but last night proved to me that i was, i always have been. How dare anyone say what i do with my son is wrong and that i am a bad mother and should not aim my goals too high and be unrealistic. I no its going to be hard and what is success without struggle. On that note James is getting huge he's almost 20lbs and is in 12 month clothing, hes only 4 months and a couple weeks... Whenever i see newborns it makes me want another one just so i can have a NEWBORN not a INFANT, haha justkiddddding give or take a bunch of years.
The year of 2011.
The year of 2011, where has the time gone ? It feels like the more i don't want to grow up and go back in time for when i was a child it speeds up. New years 2011 i found out i was pregnant. It wasn't because me and my boyfriend weren't using protection, the fact i was on antibiotics and birth control.. makes it not work .. Thank you dr for the heads up ! Over a year has passed since that night and i still remember it perfectly. No tears, no joy no emotion. It was what it was. Time sure sped up quickly after that..
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